Rule 1: For a song to qualify, it had to either made it on this year's Billboard year-end list or at one point of this year touched the Billboard top 40( So that means songs like "Stoner" & "Or Nah" won't be on this list).
Rule 2: Not only that the song had to be popular this year, but it had to piss me off the most ( But that one was pretty obvious).
Last Rule: Any song that I put on this list are just my personal opinions. So if there is a song or 2 that you don't agree with me on, then that's fine. I'm not here to convince anyone to agree with me or not, I'm just here to share my opinion on what I thought was the worst of the worst hit songs I heard this year. So overall, don't take my opinion too seriously.
Before I get into the actual list here are some honorable mentions:
HM#1: Katy Perry's "This Is How We Do"
[Peak: #24/Year-end list: N/A]
For a guy who really enjoyed Katy Perry's other singles that she released this year like "Dark Horse" and "Birthday". I couldn't find any enjoyment in this song here. Like I understand that the song is suppose to be another one of Katy Perry's fun, cheesy pop songs (For example: "California Gurl", "Hot N' Cold", "Birthday", & etc) but the way that it's delivered, it turns into this sloppy & boring mess. Katy Perry sounds bored in this song, it feels like she doesn't want to be there. The music also doesn't help as well because it's even more lamer than Katy Perry herself. It's just this lame production mix in with a lame and lifeless beat and a melody that is easily forgettable. Also there is this part of the song where Katy makes a random and unnecessary shout outs to things that I don't really care too much about. The only reason why this song didn't make it on the list because I found this song to be too cheesy sounding to hate and plus I don't really have strong hatred for it.
HM #2: Eminem's "The Monster" ft. Rihanna
[Peak: #1/Year-end list: #16]
I love Eminem; I love him as a rapper, an entertainer, personality; I also love most of his songs & albums ( Especially, the first & 2nd Marshall Maters LP), but I wasn't a big fan of this song. Don't get me wrong, he still have that aggression and passion that I know and love about him in this song. But I was just left with disappointment after listening to it. I don't mind if Eminem talks about his personal life or what's bothering him because there are a few songs of his where handle those topics right ("Like Toy Soldiers", "Headlights", "The Way I Am", and the list goes on and on). With this on the other hand, Eminem sounded like he wanted to say something personal but he just couldn't get the words out. So all we got is just Eminem complaining about how hard being a celebrity. Now I usually don't mind this topic if the artist gave us some detail of how they experienced this in their actual personal life. But Eminem doesn't give us no real detail of how hard it is to be a celebrity other than complaining about it ( But who am I one to judge knowing that one of my biggest guiltiest pleasures of this year is a guy complaining about a relationship for 3 minutes). Not to mention, I find the production in this song to be weak. You know what.... This whole song feels weak. Eminem gives a weak and forgettable performance, The production sounds weak, heck, even Rihanna herself sounds weak in this song as well. The only thing that saves this to make on the list is Eminem's flow and how catchy the song is. But overall, this song was just a big disappointment.
HM #3: Ariana Grande's "Break Free" ft. Zedd
[Peak: #4/Year-end list: #37]
Speaking of disappointment..... This song almost made it on the list for being a big disappointment. In all honesty, when I heard that both Ariana & Zedd was going to work together, my expectations were high. Because both of these artist are extremely talented and have some few songs I really enjoy from them. Also I thought the song was going to be a awesome song with nice vocals from Ariana and an epic beat made by Zedd. But after listening to it, I was of course left disappointed. I will say that Ariana did provided some nice vocals in this song, but everything else just didn't work for me. The beat that Zedd made for this song is just lame & basic EDM and the song doesn't have no personality at all. Even though that Ariana does bring some nice vocals, she doesn't bring any personality or power to make the song feel like her own. That's why I love her other singles "Problem" & "Love Me Harder" because not only she brought personality in her vocals but her performance in those 2 songs feels like it could be done by herself and no one else. But with this, you could add any female singer in this song and you wouldn't even know the difference. Whatever, at least Ariana gave some nice vocals.
HM #4: Bobby Shmurda's "Hot Nigga"
[Peak: #6/Year-end list: #54]
This song was originally going to be on the list for being another typical rap song about how "gangsta" & awesome he is and how it got popular because of a stupid dance and vine videos. But I didn't want to waste my quality time trashing this song because I know for fact there's going to another song like this that gets popular, I listen to it and hate it, I whine, complain, & bitch on why it got it popular, and the whole cycle will repeat. So I didn't want to waste my time given it anymore attention then it already gotten this year. Also this doesn't have to do with anything, but "Shmurda She Wrote" have got to be the most cheesiest title to call your EP.
HM #5: Jason Aldean's "Burnin' It Down" & FGL & Luke Bryan's "This is how we roll"
[Peak: #12/Year-end: 63] [Peak: #15/Year-end: 49]
As a music reviewer, I barely even listen or talk about country music. That's because I wasn't raised listening to country music and getting that full experience with the genre. Even when I do listen to a country song, I can't really relate to most of the stuff that they mention in the song because I haven't lived that lifestyle. Don't get wrong, I'm not saying I hate country as a genre(because I don't really have a problem with the genre) but it just doesn't grab my attention like other genres do. So songs like these two doesn't help make the genre look any better. "Burnin' It Down" is just this overall embarrassment of an sex jam mix with in lame and sludgy production. As for "This is how we roll", FGL tried but failed to make a country rap song and it doesn't help that the remix adds in the insufferable Jason Derulo in it. I would have put these 2 embarrassments on the list, but like I said earlier I didn't really pay too much attention to this years countries music and plus I didn't really have a strong hatred for these two songs.
HM #6: Jessie J's "Bang Bang" ft. Ariana Grande & Nicki Minaj
[Peak: #3/Year-End: #27]
This song just annoyed the living crap out of me this year. I don't like the lyrics for just being an obvious song about sex ( Not to mention, it was inspired by "Blurred Lines"), I don't like the beat for only focusing more on the percussion and not the melody, and mixed in with the annoying vocals from Jessie J & Ariana Grande makes the song unlistenable for me. This song was so close of making it on the list, but I mostly ignored it throughout the whole year and plus I will admit that Nicki's verse was okay. But other than that, this song is just annoying and you disappointed me Jessie J.
Final HM: Anything from Rae Sremmurd
Let's face it, these 2 guys suck at rapping and being as rappers. They have no flow, their lyrics are just typical and generic hip hop slock that most of these untalented mainstream rappers talk about, their voices are annoying as hell, and their only 2 hits are produced by Mike Will Made-It ( You know, the guy who brought us the terrible excuse of a song "23"). I would have put either one of their awful songs on this list, but I wouldn't want to waste my time because their 15 minutes of fame are done and I hope it stays that way for a very long time.
Now that I got that over with, on to the real list:
Now in the beginning of the year, we had some boring songs charting and it all thanks to the boring slock we had last year. Don't get me wrong, some of the boring stuff we had last year wasn't all that bad ( For example, "Royals" and "Same Love"). But the boring stuff we had this year though were just a sludge to listen to ( Especially, "All Of Me" & "Let Her Go"). Now I would have put any one of these snorefest on this list, but I chose the one with the least amount of substance.
11. A Great Big World & Christina Aguilera's "Say Something"
[Peak: #4/Year-end: #17]
Excluding the fact that I really enjoy the vocals from both Ian and Christina, everything else in this song sucks. The music in this song is so boring and lifeless, it just repeats the same old "Dun", "Dun", "Dun" throughout the whole song with no interesting build up ( Not to mention that the music sounds like something DJ Mustard would make, but more on him way later on the list). Also for a duet, Christina barely even do anything in this song but just come in the 2nd half of the song and sings over with Ian. I bet that Christina is only here for star power. But that and the music are not the only reason why this song is on this list, it's the message meaning that the song is about nothing. Like I understand that the song is suppose to be about losing that special someone in their live. But the vague lyrics makes it hard to understand how they lost that person. Did they lost that special someone from a bad break up or did the person just straight up passed away? If they gave us like a tiny bit of detail of how they lost that special someone then I wouldn't ask those questions or even better, mind the song. But since they don't tell us, I can't sympathize with them. It's the same problem I had with the "The Monster", they both had an interesting topic to talk about but it just wasn't executed right. Whatever, at least I enjoy the vocals in this song.
10. Iggy Azalea's "Fancy" ft. Charli XCX
[Peak: #1/Year-end list: #4]
Now a lot of you guys were expecting this song to be way higher on the list, well, I don't blame you. But the only main reason why this song isn't any higher up because Iggy does have a nice flow & a few good lyrics, the song have a lot of energy to it, and the song is annoyingly catchy. But even with all those positives, the song still sucks though. The beat is simple and minimalist, Charli XCX's loud vocals doesn't mix too well with the beat, and (I know that everybody covered this, but) for a song called "Fancy", the lyrics in this song doesn't sound too fancy at all. I don't know if they were trying being ironic about being fancy because they sound so serious about being fancy, so the message just leaves me confused. I don't really have that much to say about this song because everybody already covered it so I got nothing new or interesting to say about it. But I will say, that this song just wasted my time. There are a lot of positives in this song, but it just got wasted by a weak beat and a confusing message.
9. Pitbull's "Wild Wild Love" ft. G.R.L.
[Peak: #30/Year-end list: N/A]
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My main problem of this song isn't because of G.R.L. because honestly, they're the best part of the song. They give an excellent performance in this song with nice vocals and plus the hook that they sing is really poetic. But it all goes down hill from here when Mr. International Lover comes in and ruins the whole song. I understand that the song is suppose to be about hot sex, but Pitbull just makes the song unsexy with really disgusting lyrics. Now the disgusting lyrics that Pitbull say in this song isn't the most repulsive thing I heard this year, but it defiantly ruins the song. Lets not forget about the ugly ass beat that Pitbull raps over and my my god is it terrible. Now I don't really have that much to say the beat other than it reminds me of a lot of a terrible Bangladesh (The DJ, not the country) beat. But I don't think Bangladesh himself would use that type of beat because he might find the beat too atrocious for him to produce. But all jokes aside, this song had some potential to be a really great song. If G.R.L. was only on this song and they got rid of both Pitbull and the beat, then this song would have easily be #1 choice of the best song I heard this entire year. But man, did Pitbull really gave an awful performance in this song. But hey, at least G.R.L. save this song to let this it be any higher on this list.
You guys saw this one coming!
8. Chris Brown's "Loyal" ft. Lil Wayne & Tyga
[Peak: #9/Year-end list: #30]
Before I start talking about the song, let's talk about the ugly song cover art. It's just Chris Brown face copied & pasted 17 times added in with this booger looking font that doesn't too good at all. But enough about the song cover art, let's talk shit about this awful excuse of a song made by an awful excuse of an human being. This song is basically Chris Brown getting all worked up because women don't want to have sex with him. Also he complains how women ain't loyal to their Boyfriends/Husbands because they go for richer and famous guys like Chris Brown. Now this topic isn't really all that bad to talk about if executed right like for example "Gold Digger" by Kanye West. But Chris Brown couldn't execute that topic because every line that he says just contradict each other.
But I don't fuck with broke bitches".
"When a rich nigga want you
And your nigga can't do nothing for ya
These hoes ain't loyal".
And your nigga can't do nothing for ya
These hoes ain't loyal".
"Come on, come on, girl
Why you fronting?
Baby, show me something
When Icall her, she gon' leave
And I bet thatbottom dollar she gon' cheat
Come on, come on, girl
Why you fronting?
Baby, show me something
You just spent your bread on her
And it's all for nothing".
Why you fronting?
Baby, show me something
When I
And I bet that
Come on, come on, girl
Why you fronting?
Baby, show me something
You just spent your bread on her
And it's all for nothing".
See what I'm telling you, just a boat loads of contradicting right there. Even with the contradicting lyrics, I still wouldn't make sense on why Chris Brown is complaining on how women ain't loyal their boyfriends/husbands when himself isn't loyal as well. Was he loyal to Rihanna back in 2009? No, I don't think so. Now a lot you guys maybe thinking, "James, if this song have a lot of problems in it, then why isn't it higher on this list?". Even though that Chris Brown is a piece of shit in this song and Tyga not staying on topic, there are shockingly a few positives in this song. Lil Wayne's verse was okay, I enjoy the beat, and I love when the word "Let Me See" be repeated throughout the whole song. But other than that, this song is another one of Chris Brown's terrible excuse of a song and I hope this is the last time we hear from him.
You know what I just realized, some of the songs I put on this list so far have been disappointments. Well, that's because most of the songs that charted this year have been disappointments. What I mean is some of the bad songs that charted this year like "Loyal" had some potential to be a really good song if it was executed right. Heck, some of the okay songs like "All About That Bass" had some potential to be a really great song if they took out some few parts. Not only that most of these song disappointed me, but some artist that I really like put out some disappointing tracks this year. But the biggest disappointment of this year came from a band that I use to really like and the song that they released this year was god-awful.
7. Maroon 5's "Maps"
[Peak: #6/Year-end list: #29]
Now originally, I was going to add both this song and their other single "Animals" on this list but I had to cut "Animals" off of this list. Even though I really don't like "Animals" for being an overall creepfest and annoying vocals from Adam Levine, I will say it's a 10 times better song than this. At least with "Animals", it have really awesome production in it and the song is pretty well made. But the same thing cannot be said for this atrocity. Let me start by saying that Adam Levine haven't sounded this annoying and pathetic in a song before. Now this song is supposed to be about Adam Levine feeling sorry about cheating or breaking up with his girlfriend, so he tries his best to win her back. Even though the topic isn't all that bad ( and I'm going to repeat myself again), it just wasn't executed right. Now usually when I listen to a song like this, the main thing I look for is to see if the guy or girl in question feels regretful for his actions and apologize. Well in this song, Adam doesn't sound regretful at all. He sounds pretty unapologetic and even when he does feel regretful, he only wants her back because of the sex and that's it. He doesn't mention anything in this song about wanting her back to fix up the relationship, he only wants her back for the sex and that's it. Another main problem I have with the song is that I can't tell what type of mood it's trying to set. I can't tell if Adam is feeling hopeful, regretful, sad, angry, or just feeling like a total douche. It all just mixes up and it makes the song feel like a 3 minute version of Adam Levine having mood swings. So any song that have mood swings in it, definitely deserves to be on this list. But overall, this song is just awful. It have a poorly written message, Adam Levine sounds very annoying in this, and the music is just really bland. As for Maroon 5, you guys really disappointed me this year and I hope you guys could just take your time and make good quality music so that I could love you guys again. But as for now, you guys are dead to me!
Now this year, we had a lot of songs getting popular because Vine videos. Now Vine is this app where people make 6 or 7 seconds long videos for comedic use or others. Not only that, but Vine is also used for people to make memes or parodies of an specific song. Now the song itself doesn't have to be either good or bad, as long as it has that special quality in it to be made fun of. Now some of the times, good things could happen from this ( Jhene Aiko's "The Worst"). Most of the times, bad things could happen from this ( Sage The Gemini's "Gas Pedal" & anything from Rae Sremmurd) and all of times, atrocities like these 2 happen.
6. ILOVEMAKONNEN's "Tuesday" ft. Drake
[Peak: #12/Year-end list: N/A]
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5. Rich Gang's "Lifestyle" ft. Young Thug & Rich Homie Quan
[Peak: #16/Year-end list: #72]
Not only that these 2 songs aren't funny, they're boring and atrocious messes. "Tuesday" is a boring and lifeless song with slow and sludgy production, atrocious singing from both Makonnen ( and yes, that is his real first name) and Drake, lyrics that don't even matter, and a total fail of being a club banger. While "Lifestyle" is another boring and lifeless song with a weak production, atrocious singing/rapping from both Young Thug & Rich Homie Quan, and a message that could have had potential to be decent but it got ruined by disgusting, smug, and border line awful lyrics. Now I'm not going to blame Vine for letting these 2 songs get popular because that would be pretty stupid. I'm blaming the producers and the makers of these 2 on why they chose to make these atrocity. Were they making it for the sake of people making fun it on Vine because that's the only real explanation for these 2 songs being created and if that what they were going for then their plan work. But the songs it selves just fail miserably and I hope that the next song that gets popular on vine won't be too atrocious like these two.
You guys saw these 2 coming!
4. Jason Derulo's "Wiggle" ft. Snoop Dogg
[Peak: #5/Year-end list: #40]
3. Nicki Minaj's "Anaconda"
[Peak: #2/Year-end list: #36]
Now I don't have that much too say about these 2 because everybody trashed these 2 to death and plus I already made a full review on "Wiggle" ( If you want to see it, press here "Shake That Teletubby"). But I'll just repeat what I said in that review and also repeat what other said about these two tracks. "Wiggle" is a non-sexy booty shaking song with a horrible use of an recorder for the beat drop, annoying and douchy performance from Mr. Derulo himself, Snoop Dogg's disgusting performance, A forgettable bridge, and lyrics so bad that make you start feeling sorry for the women hanging out with these two. The only reason that song isn't any higher on the list because at least Jason Derulo sounds like he's enjoying making this terrible excuse of a song. "Anaconda" is also a non-sexy booting shaking song with a non-sexy music video, lazy use of sampling from Sir Mix-A-Lot's "Baby Got Back" ( which by the way is a 10 times better song than this dribble), disgusting lyrics, horrendous beat drop, horrendous outro, and really annoying performance from Nicki herself. These 2 songs represents on how booty shaking isn't like they use to before. Now don't get me wrong, Booty shaking songs wasn't perfect to begin with but at least there were some songs like this that did it right. But with these 2, it totally fails. If you guys want good song to shake your behinds to then listen to Sir Mix-A-Lot's "Baby Got Back" or even T-Pain's "Up Down". Stay away from these two!!!!!
Oh Beyonce, how'd you failed big time this year!
2. Beyonce's "7/11"
[Peak: #13/Year-end list: N/A]
Now I could have chose any song that was on her self-titled album on this list for being either bland, boring, forgettable, or just straight up bad. But I chose the one that annoyed and pissed me off the most. Now the first time I heard this song, the first thing that came inside my mind is..... Beyonce having a mid-life crisis? Because after listening to this train wreck, it sounded like she's having one. She's trying way to hard to be hip by sounding ratchet and creating a new dance move that nobody would and should not attempt to do in their lives. But my main problem with the song isn't the fact that Beyonce is trying to connect with her younger audience, it's the overall annoyance and laziness that Beyonce brings. She sounds really horrendous in this song, using autotune to make her voice sounds cool doesn't help her at all. Beyonce have a really nice voice, but using autotune doesn't work too well for her. There is also this one part of the song where the song stops being annoying and Beyonce start saying some weird and crazy shit. I don't know what type of drugs she was using to go and act like that, but she needs to stop using it. Also it's sad seeing how careless she sounds in this song, it sounds like she only made this song because of the music video. Which she did because each line describes everything that she's doing in the music video. Music should not focus on what's happening in the music video, it should be the other way around.Ugh, this song just pisses me off! The only good thing I will say for this song is that Beyonce does give a lot of energy. But other than that, this song is annoying mess with awful vocals from Beyonce and a annoying beat. I advise everyone to skip this song!
And final, #1
1. DJ Mustard
Now a lot of you guys maybe asking yourself, who in the world is DJ Mustard and why is he at #1? Well, DJ Mustard is a hip hop producer who is known for making simple and minimalistic beat. Not to mention, he recycles the same beats that he produced and make every song that he produced sound the same. Now you maybe thinking, "Wait James, we have a lot of songs that have simple and minimalistic beats and plus he's not the first person to make those type of beats". That right there is the main reason why this guy is my #1 choice because he's just unoriginal. Not only he makes unoriginal beats but he steals from other people to make their formula his own. Plus it doesn't make too sense on why he had to steal other people's formulas to make it his own, when anybody could make those types of beat. Heck, even I could make those type of beats. Not only that but most the songs that he produce are really awful. Now I would have put any one of his terrible produced songs for my #1 choice, but I would have been saying the same thing to the other songs that he produced because there all the same song but with different artist and different subject matter. Now even though that DJ Mustard was the bane of my existence this year, he did produced some songs that I really enjoy him. But other than that, DJ Mustard is an awful excuse of an hip hop producer. He's not the worst producer out there, but he's definitely the most unoriginal. Also I hope this is the very last time I hear from DJ Condiments ever again.
Here are some songs that would have been on this only if it touched the top 40 or charted at all this year:
- Ty$'s "Or Nah"
- Young Thug's "Stoner"
- Omarion's "Post To Be"
- Wiz Khalifa's "We Dem Boyz" & "You And Your Friends"
- Any song from DJ Mustard's "10 Summers" album
- Kim Cesarion's "Undressed"
- We Are Toonz's "Nae Nae"
- Jessie J's "Burnin' Up"
- Ne-Yo's "She Knows"
- Flo Rida's "G.D.F.R."
- Cash Out's "She Twerkin"
- Teeflii's "24 Hours"
- And other bad songs that I can't think of right now
Tune in next year for my top 11 best hit songs of 2014, thank you and I'll see you guys later. Peace!
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